It’s been coming up a lot. Every time it does I get that tingly feeling on the back of my neck. That uncomfortable prickling that tells me I’ve screwed up. Uh-oh. What have I’ve done wrong this time?

Just about every thing.

And why? Because I suck at being intentional. I suck at even defining what being intentional means. But I _know_ I’m supposed to be intentional in all areas of my life. Intentional in my parenting. Intentional with my homemaking. Intentional in my eating (hello 5 lbs that magically found my middle after Thanksgiving). Intentional in my down time. Intentional in my writing. Intentional in my career. Intentional in my marriage.

Holy cabooses! Was I ever intentional?

… Maybe when I was a first time parent and was sure that I alone could reverse global warming with cloth diapering. But maybe not, since I remember how that stinky ship went down. Spoilers: Baby #2 was not cloth diapered.

Okay. Maybe. But was I ever intentional in recent memory?

…. Sure! In fact I think I may even have a post about it here. Oh, wow. It’s time to evaluate those goals too.

Amelia’s Fall Goals Y’all ready for a reckoning? 

(Fall being understood as of right now to Thanksgiving Day, but definitely not the Friday after Thanksgiving because that is Christmas territory and all bets are off for that bad boy… Christmas and I have a complicated relationship.)

  1. Cook Something New… And stop counting pancakes as a vegetable. I did cook some new things! I tried this tilapia recipe that even little-Mr.-picky-pants ate. And this sweet potato casserole with pecan streusel was really fun. And I tried this different recipe for mashed potatoes that made my Thanksgiving infinitely easier. I ate significantly fewer pancakes. But learned from my delightful offspring that cake of pan was George Washington’s favorite breakfast.
  2. Lose Weight… I mean epic amounts of it so that come Christmas time I can eat with abandon. See goal #1. for inspiration. Hint eat less pancakes. My sister made a pecan pie from scratch for Thanksgiving. Pecans are my favorite. And I may have eaten pecan pie (plus apple, strawberry-peach, banana cream, and pumpkin) for breakfast, lunch and dinner all weekend long. My scale screamed at me when I got home.
  3. Reach 40K words on my WIP. And please think of a title. And maybe even make a mood board. Those are fun. And maybe even hit 50K, because I think I can. I reached 40,492 words, and then chased new, fun and exciting WIPs that were calling me as my reward.  
  4. Write four new blog posts. And for the love, edit them carefully. Maybe do more research about what blogs for #AmQuerying writers are supposed to look like. I wonder if there is a mentor contest for blogs. Feedback is always a good thing. “Hi. My name is Amelia. In your experience would my website hurt or help my chances of finding representation? …Uh-hun. I see… No, I understand. I look like an amateur who doesn’t know what she’s doing. But it’s honest, yeah? This post is my fourth. And I’ve been doing as much research as my aspiring, unagented soul can handle. Comparison is a thief of joy.  
  5. Read two new books. Yup plus one. Six of Crows. When Dimple Met Rishi. And Just Add Magic. 
  6. Meet deadlines for the day job (which is code for not forgetting to clock in). Eye. r.o.l.l. 
  7. Play a game once a day… Mr. Amelia’s grandpa loved pinochle. My grandpa loved cribbage. I need to learn how to play these games. Or at least try to hold my own on Rescue Bot Memory or My Little Pony Memory. So I totally hold my own on the first round of memory, but then the next round I’m still remembering locations from the first round and I get creamed. We played a lot of Go Fish, some Qwirkle, Blokus, and Rummikub. But not every day. Not even close. 
  8. Listen to MORE music. I do like silence. I like it a lot. But my family likes tunes, and it does feel more like a party with music on. Success! Now just to make my listening intentional. 
  9. Don’t leave a load of laundry in the washing machine overnight and then have to wash it again the next day because it got gross. Shudders. Cringes. Success! But only because Mr. Amelia ended up doing a lot of laundry. Extra success!
  10. Don’t lock my keys in the car again. Win!

Obviously there is room for improvement in my goals and in my intentionality. And a writer can’t replace pancakes with pie. But maybe cookies…


  • Ona December 1, 2017 Reply

    I used to run five miles most days. I went to yoga once or twice a week. I had time on my hands. I was chilling in a swimming pool on a unicorn-shaped floaty.

    Now I’m head-down underwater in the ocean and wave after wave keeps pummeling me. Hard to do much except flail about and hope for the occasional gasp of air. This is when the zen masters would say “now more than ever is the time to be intentional or the sea will swallow you whole.”

    To them I say, “Come on out boys. The water’s fine.” Then I laugh maniacally as another wave crashes over my head.

    I have survived, I think. This was my one fall goal.

    • Amelia Hollingsworth December 5, 2017 Reply

      It’s easy to coach from the comfort of a unicorn-shaped floaty. I remember feeling completely soaked and exhausted and looking to all those meticulously coiffed and completely dry peeps for answers. What do I need to do? I need to do the 3-day-method for potty training? You sure? What do I need to do? I need to not turn the dinner table into a battle? I can’t push vegetables? My kids will naturally come around to broccoli? Eventually the pounding of the waves drowns all the shouting out. And I at least learned to just make it work. Survival. Check. But now…

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